One of the primary conquests we seek to obtain in life is discovering who we are, what we want to do, and where we want to go. It is usually a life long journey through a path of trials, conflict, rejection, hard work, development, and effort that eventually sets us on a straight path to enlightenment. At first though it may appear that you are actually lost in a neck of woods, but learn to take control of your life and find the way back home. I’ve often asked myself why life so hard? That is the purpose of this article.
IE: The ‘is’ is left out to tackle a Google keyword, so please excuse me on that.
I’d like to tell you that it will be easy, but that would not be very honest. It is like learning to ride a bike or master a subject. It is just going to take time and sometimes sacrifice to rise above the tough thorns of life. The primary goal is to discover the confidence within yourself and build your self esteem to discover that the potential to win lies deep within.
In the beginning, it is usually safe to say “we have it easy”. We are often born into an environment of nurturing. As a baby, we are fed, changed, and loved by our parents, guardian, or single parent. The mother dominates in this area and is sometimes the chief breadwinner of our hearts. I for one can contest that without the care and compassion of my own mother, I am certain I would be wandering the streets to this day, homeless, alone, and having no real goals or aspirations of where I am going and hearing that same question over and over, why life so hard?
Sometimes that experience of who raised us and how we were modeled, can have a negative impact on us for years to come. The mother’s goal is supposed to be to comfort us as an infant, console us as a toddler, and guide us into becoming a mature adult. Of course the educational systems also contribute to this cause, but most of our time is spent listening to our parents, being shuffled around by them, and basking on their every, spoken word. Unfortunately if that experience is not pleasant (why life so hard – ‘thank you quick Google search’) it will spiral us out of control and leave us defeated before we can get started. This paints the story of a dysfunctional family. After all no one is perfect. These are the beginning of trials we begin to encounter in life as we attempt to embrace the cold backlash, and survive through our childhood.
Trials in the early years
Depending on what era you are born into, the type of family heritage, and people who raised you will often make or break your happiness in life. Those are the years of trials. It is not uncommon to be raised by destructive parents or guardians. If this what you have been exposed to the trials will be very heavy and mingled with much heartache. The goal here is not to try to depress you, but rather shed light on those hidden scars so that you can realize you are likely a victim of your childhood traumas.
Episodes of Conflict
During our adolescent years, we may come into contact with episodes of bullying, teasing, negative experiences, or even hard core teachers while in school and keep hearing ourselves saying why life so hard? I can certainly contest to this personally. Since I didn’t possess the same features of my classmates, I was often the subject of ridicule and bullying. A good article called Challenging Our Assumptions talks about our children’s happiness appears to have a broader psychological analysis which has increased in the number of children in danger of failure and threatens their self esteem. Bullies like to prey on the timid and weak-minded individual. Since I lacked confidence in my character and had low self esteem, I had quite a catalog of bad guys to fend off during my early years.
One of my earliest memories of being attacked verbally by bullies is by a neighborhood boy named Ronnie. Like myself, he was under his own interrogation at home by his divorced mother, which also contributed to his hyperactive state. It was not too uncommon to see him spout fits of rage and he vented on me often since we were friends. His defiance against his mother placed him in probation and whippings by her sometimes daily (why life so hard), which explains why he retaliated on me with his taunts of teasing. Being prone to attacks by his insults, began to infect my character and attitude. Soon I was experiencing anxiety, frustration, and anger trying to counter attack in my own silent defense.
Reprimanded by my Father
I received many, unnumbered scoldings by my father as a result. My father had his own episodes of why life so hard. While not a big man in stature, he exercised authority with his belt often. His mother treated him badly so we got the brunt of his retaliation. Later it accompanied my outbursts into submission. I responded in loud wailing as I received many indentations into my physical, petite frame that attempted to model my attitude permanently. I still have the welted scars to prove it.
The negative experience backlash
Some of my vivid memories of negative experiences occurred a little later before I was in high school. I was walking home from a friend’s house on a nice, spring day and was confronted by two older boys that had just finished playing ball together down on a field. I Out of routine, I followed a direct path around the school grounds at a higher elevation away from danger. I imagine my fears were recognized by the two approaching strangers. One of the younger guys (a few years my junior) actually asked if I have been beaten before. Before I knew it was I was being kicked and pounded into the pavement and thinking ‘why life so hard?’ I tried to defend myself with my might, but it evaded me quickly as he overpowered me and pummeled me into oblivion.
Conflict of Resolution
There are moments in your life where a conflict eventually streamlines into a resolved outcome. Sometimes you may have envisioned yourself banging your head against a wall until you succumb to the pain with no feeling. However, finding answers to your conflicts will help set you smooth sailing. I believe that my moment of triumph arrived after I graduated from high school in the summer of 1988. No pun intended.
By then I was already becoming established in the restaurant industry and adding a new base of friends to my life. I met a guy that I am still convinced was my twin. We even had the same name and hobbies on many levels. Those were some of the best years of my life and began an upward spiral of conquering my inner turmoils and parting a path that would help flourish my ability to emphasize with people who were walking on the same unbalanced plank. Steve and me often traded Atari 2600 video games, computer books, and talked about computers until the other employees were bored to tears.
He also had a generous nature about him and kindness. On the weekends, he often gave me an invitation to visit his residence in Barberton, Ohio. During my visit, he introduced me to his mother. His dog investigated us while we were tampering with his system upstairs. He lived in a pretty nice house in what was a good area during that season. We spent a considerable amount of time writing software code on his Atari computer he got for Christmas. On many instances, he let me borrow his disks, packed full of programs he wrote. Suddenly those thoughts of why life so hard, seemed to be fading faster at that serene moment in my life.
This was such an advantage for me since I also owned an Atari 65xe computer system. I had no idea that moment was also building a foundation that constructed positive walls around the core of my life. Eventually I was go on to obtain a college degree in Computer Science that would open up many doors to improve my outcome.
Being a Hard Worker
The events of serving pizza in a restaurant, packing groceries much later, and filling store shelves would launch a perilous journey into hard work while growing as a person. After a short stint in the restaurant sector, I quickly migrated into the retail industry. I was hired on as a “Packer” from a small store chain called Acme. Now I had already been disciplined by work efforts so by that time I was a little more prepared for heftier assignments and labor.
The first real challenge I experienced at Acme was trying to conceptualize how to stack products into a paper bag from heaviest to lightest. My frequent brain recesses often distracted me from accomplishing that remedial task with thoughts of why life so hard? I can recall hours of frustration trying to categorize how that was even remotely possible. Many years later my college professors words rang in my ears and I recalled him saying “Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill”. Almost as if he were guiding me by thought.
Happily ever after?
There was a time in my life when I was married in my early 20s. In those days you networked with a significant other through mail and using something called “calling cards”. In due time we fell in love and tied the knot. At first we experienced a state of complete bliss as we enjoyed the “honeymoon phase”. However, once that faded, reality set in and so did the bad experiences. I don’t want to go into great extent discussing this, but needless to say we married too young and wasn’t ready for the tsunamis that life sailed in our direction. The waves quickly sent us to the ground and before we knew it divorce was on the surface (why life so hard). However, even pain can offer rewards as you begin to learn from those moments and choose to move forward in a positive direction.
A new outlook on life
In conclusion I’d like to state that the journey through life may start as a easily accessible road, get jagged along the way, but eventually by overcoming your trials, painful experiences, applying yourself, and never giving up you will soon be able to reverse where the pendulum falls as you begin to escape your past periods of regression and move toward succession. This will help you perceive a better outlook on life and see that the “grass is greener on the other side”. Everything depends on how you embrace life, and most importantly how you live your life being real. The weight of the world may somehow been placed on your shoulders as a child, but you can obtain the audacity to laugh at disaster in the face and stay positive as you begin to paint a brighter future.
Steve has always had a passion for computers even before I owned one. His first personal computer was an Atari 65xe purchased at Children's Palace around 1986. In later years he attended DeVry University and received a Computer Science degree, works as a Front End Web Developer and is a born again Christian.
Although this is a tech site, I am ashamed of the gospel. I am a sinner saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. If you ever want to talk about salvation, I'm game.